Isn't life a beautiful mess sometimes?
There's the bad stuff, the great stuff, and all the stuff that in the end is a consequence of how we react to the bigger stuff.
And a little bit of all of that stuff is dancing around in my mind tonight.
That means it is time to get it out, sort it out, and just leave it to the good old Universe to do what it will with it all.
So my mom isn't getting married in March anymore.
She is getting married exactly one week from today.
And when I found out I was a little mad and a little sad and a little annoyed.
And to be honest, I am not sure why I felt those things because Paul is great, his family is wonderful, and my mom is truly happy.
But change is hard, especially when it affects so much of a life that you don't want to be changed anymore than it already has.
After a day of sulking and trying to find more and more reasons to be angry about the situation I was reminded of something important:
The reality is that life might not play out the way we want. Accidents happen, disease wins; but in the end we are each granted the opportunity to choose the way we react to it all.
Attitude really is everything.
In approximately 60 days me and my beau will be hopping on a plane bound for the Caribbean.
We are going cruising and I am officially excited.
I honestly can't say what I am looking forward to more: a week of sunshine and sandy beaches or a week of uninterrupted sleep?
We are leaving the girls in the capable hands of their grandmas and while I am getting beyond excited to ship out I know it is going to be hard kissing those babies goodbye.
As long as our cruise ship doesn't sink we should be okay, although that is now a legitimate fear in my mind. That and the sharks, of course.
So hockey, huh?
If I am being honest here I still know pretty much nothing about the sport, but courtesy of Ryan's birthday present we spent last night watching a good old fashioned hockey fight break out; girls in skimpy outfits do their ice sweeping duties; and the Columbus Blue Jackets lose yet another game.
But you know we had fun doing it.
Any time spent with this guy is a good time.
He really is one of the best people I know. Lucky, lucky me.
Another truth? This is the first time since she was four months old that I have painted Stella's toe nails. I rarely remember to paint my own, how do you expect me to think to do hers?
She pretty much loved it so I am sure I am in for more pedicure fun in the days to come.
These girls are growing up far too quickly for my liking.
I love that I get to be their mom.
They make my world go round, even if they can make me really tired while doing it.
Next week I will officially have a two year old and a three month old.
How?!
I love them to the moon and back, but the reality is being a parent is also dang hard at times.
It is thankless, exhausting work raising these sweet spirits and trying to teach them how to be functioning, spiritual human beings in this crazy world.
Stella had three New Years resolutions this year:
1. Ditch the binky
2. Move to the big girl bed
3. Learn to use the big girl potty
We have accomplished 1.5 items off that list.
Stella is currently sleeping binky-free in her bed, but it has been a week of sleepless nights and a lot of bedtime battles.
We haven't even begun the official potty training yet, but I am proud to say she has gone pee her potty chair twice in the last seven days.
I do believe I have entered the hardest phase of parenting so far.
Wish us luck.
A good friend of ours just lost his mom to cancer.
I have been thinking a lot about him and his family, and the emotions that they are experiencing as they try to imagine a future without their sweet mother in it.
I hope they are as lucky as I have been to have little reminders of loved ones lost showing up in every corner of their lives.
Places like the faces of their darling babies or in the sight of an ice cold glass of "pink"milk waiting to be sipped out of a metal cup.
The truth is I miss my dad every single day.
Knowing my mom is getting married again brings up fears about forgetting and replacing and losing so many parts of my life that held him in it.
But I know we won't forget him. There is just no way, especially because I get to look at and love on two little girls who will help me remember him always and forever.
12 comments:
Such a sweet post! You are the best at putting a positive spin on things, even if you think it takes you a while. You're just pure amazing. So fun that you and Ryan got to go to the game and your girls really are growing so fast! Props to Stella for no binkie and good luck w/ Potty training...it's TOUGH, but I know you'll make it through with flying colors!
I love you with all my heart. the truth is the parenting things is still hard. I don't want to break my children's heart or ruin them for the rest of their lives. I want what is best for them even though they are grown and being parents themselves. We have been strong and supportive for 6 years and I know that we can continue to do it. We have a knowledge that we love each other and we also have the knowledge that we love dad and he loves us and sees the whole picture now. He is happy and wants all of us to be happy too. We want him here and to everything the same. Oh how we wish this but Heavenly Father put other paths in our sights and we are choosing a good one. I know it will be a hard one but it will be good and our family can do this. With the help of our Lord Jesus Christ, all is possible. How blessed we are to have that knowledge and to love each other. Thank you family for your love and support. I can't do this without you. I love you so much. Mom
Taryn, I didn't get to say hello yesterday, but I wanted to! You looked stunning yesterday. I hope the wedding goes well, and how fun that you get a vacation! Hooray!
So, yay for hockey. Incredibly jealous of your vacation. You deserve it. I'm happy for your mom, and hope you enjoy going home again and continue to feel peace in what I can only imagine is a really hard adjustment. Good luck with potty training. I can probably say some of my most challenging days as a mother have been in the last 10 days. Sounds over-the-top, but its true (so far, not sure that will still be true in March:). And if Stella is a crib-a-holic, you could try a bedrail. Made all the difference for Carly. And you're fabulous. That's all.
You never fail to amaze me, you tackle these tough situations with such grace and dignity.When I was a little girl I wanted to be just like Kyrsten's cool older sister I wanted to dress like you, cheer like you, sing like you... Now at 24 I still hope to be like you. You are such an amazing example to all of us. Our situations aren't the same but I do know what it feels like to have a mom "move on". Good thing we are both blessed with amazing mothers who are close to the Lord and truly know what it best for them and our families-that I know is true. I love you thanks for always sharing your stories!!
You have the best perspective and a beautiful way to describe your emotions. I imagine this would be super hard and you seem to handle challenges with nothing but faith and positivity. You are so admirable.
Tears come easy.Don't know if they are happy ones or sad ones, but we do know that all is well and we will be still that happy-go-lucky bunch and know that there is a great future ahead of all of us.We are so thankful for our belief and the happy days we've had and the happy ones to come. Love ya.
I just love you so much! We can do hard things!!!!!!!!
I love how you express things-- my goodness you are so strong. I know a little how you are feeling.-- I hope everything goes well next weekend-
Taryn, I cannot imagine having to go through the change of my parent marrying someone else. Mine are divorced and neither are likely to get married again but I can imagine that it would be hard to feel like one of them would be "replaced" (even though it is not possible).
One thing that might bring some comfort is my grandpa died when my dad was a 12 and his mom remarried the only guy I knew as grandpa a few years later. My grandma was happy to have the companionship but she loved my grandpa so deeply that she spoke of him often with us and looked at pictures of him with us. At the time I was too young to understand (I think I was 10 before I realized that her last name was not ours...) but now I think of what a sweet love story that was. She had her true love in heaven and a best friend to keep her company while on earth. As a grandchild, I love reading my grandparent's love story. It makes me cry. Good luck with this life change friend!
Reading your Mom's comment brought tears to my eyes! She is right. There is no way for us to see the Whole Picture. All we can do is trust the one who can. I can imagine there will be lots of tears on Sunday, thats ok. Everyone understands. I must say, we are very excited for the Hansen/Short families!
So much love I'm sending your way! You're a brave, capable, inspiring woman.:)
P.S. Love Stella's bow + apron (I'm dying).
P.P.S. Devastated we're not accompanying you (and the beau) to the shores of Puerto Rico...or any of the "Saints", but really, that whole ship tipping over thing really got the best of me. You know...I have a tough relationship with things such as that (and light sabers.:)
You're the greatest. xoxo
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