The Bitter and The Sweet

"Throughout the world and among the membership of the Church, there is great joy and great pain. Both are part of the plan. Without one, we cannot know the other. “Men are, that they might have joy” (2 Nephi 2:25) and “for it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things” (2 Nephi 2:11) are not contradictory; they are complementary." ~Elder Donald L. Hallstrom

Oh Life.

How I love thee and thy ways in which you test and try me, while also bringing me happiness and joy. At times the contradiction nearly makes my head spin.

The last two weeks were spent West again. I know, Stella and I are very lucky to have a family who spoils us by making it possible for us to attend our favorite family events. Jace seems to think all the grocery money goes to flying Stella and I home, but I assure you that the growing boy is anything but starved.

Well our trip started out with a bang as upon landing in SLC I learned my dad at been admitted into the hospital. Earlier that day he had traveled to The Huntsman Cancer Institute for another dose of chemotherapy as part of the trial he has been doing. Before receiving his treatment cat scans were performed as per protocol. These pictures found that the cancer has continued to spread greater than 20% since the treatment began making him ineligible for the study. This news came as quite a shock to us and needless to say was very upsetting. I think we all thought this was going to be our "Miracle" and when we learned it wasn't, well I think we still don't know what to think.

The hospital stay was due to two large blood clots in his legs and fluid in his lungs. Two minor procedures and a couple nights stay later all was taken care of and dad was released on oxygen and with an unsure future.

Our little vacation was still wonderful, but it was filled with more deep discussions and questions then I thought it would. Although the future remains unclear, we know that all will be okay. It has always been in the Lord's hands and it continues to be. Sometimes I question the timing and the promises we have received, but I know that things are happening now for a reason. One of the hardest parts is that Jace leaves on his mission in one month. I think he is dealing with the situation different than any of us, but he is the strongest 19 year old boy I know and his faith and strong desire to serve a mission no matter the circumstances inspires me.

Despite those turbulent first few days our time was also full of happy, funny, joyful moments. And I would say those far outweighed the scary, uncertain ones.

Dad was such a trooper and although most of the time he was resting, he wasn't left behind and was present for all of our crazy gatherings. Having him there truly made everything perfect.

Our first party took place in Island Park, Idaho. My wonderful grandparents have property here that we have all been enjoying before I was even born.

It is tradition that we all celebrate the 4th of July here and after nearly 3 years of missing the fun I was able to introduce Stella to it's beauty.



Dad was in bed except for about 2 hours of the five days we were there, but we all took turns visiting him in the trailer and giving him rubs!

We took Stella on her first trip into West Yellowstone on the fourth and Grandma J bought her these darling pjs.

Sadly, I don't think I even saw any fireworks this year aside from the sparklers the little kids were playing with. But spending the holiday back in one of my favorite places roasting marshmallows, eating way too much food, and reliving my cheerleading glory days couldn't have been better!

Another road trip, another reunion.

This one took us to the one and only Bear Lake!

The bi-annual Coffin family reunion is one of the greatest of all time. Folks come from Arizona, New Mexico, California, Ohio :), and all over Utah and Idaho to enjoy the festivities.

Time at the lake, riding dirtbikes, bridal showers, hilarious plays, hot dog roast on the beach, yummy breakfasts, and more are what make the few days spent together so wonderful. Again, dad didn't make many appearances, but I know so many people enjoyed their quick visits with him.

Stella was pretty intrigued with the fire

Stella thoroughly enjoyed putting her feet in the water and trying to eat sand. I thought it would be so fun and cute to let her play in the sand for a while. When it was over I was seriously questioning my deductive reasoning skills.

We all enjoyed the Relaxation Station my aunt and uncle brought.

Even Stella liked it.

I think I liked it a little more when grandma was watching the babe sleep on the beach and I was in the middle of the lake floating with Diet Coke in hand.

Just sayin.

Of course we had to make a stop in Logan to visit the Palmer family. While we were there we were lucky enough to see some long lost friends from Louisiana. Although they were great what we were really looking forward to was meeting their little boy!

Carson is three months younger than Stella, but seems to have more hair then well, my husband. Lucky.

We also enjoyed the great outdoors during the middle of the day thanks to the non-existent humidity and threw the babes a little pool party.

Stella mostly enjoyed eating the floating toys, but she did take a few moments to kick back and relax.

Stella got a little jealous seeing her friends sit up on their own, so in about a day she decided to master that skill.

What a little overachiever.

Walks enjoying beautiful Cache Valley and play dates with favorite friends were also on the dockett.

Don't worry, we weren't too bored.

Our two week extravaganze ended on the highest of high notes as we were able to attend the Temple with Jace.

In the wake of everything going on it was an amazing experience to be in the temple with my eternal family. We missed Ryan and Taigen, but hopefully we will all be there together again. I know that no matter what we will be.

The beautiful sight that met us as we left the Temple

So the trip was a bit of a whirlwind, but worth every minute of craziness.

Ryan, Stella, and I will be braving the friendly skies one more time in the coming months to help send Elder Hansen off to Bolivia for two years.

I am sure that trip won't be any less void of emotion and tears than this one, but it will be a special and important opportuniy to spend time ALL together as a family.

I can honestly say coming home to Ohio was a little bittersweet this time. So sweet because we missed Ryan so so much, but a lot bitter because my dad has declined so much in so little time.

But as I have said before, we still have faith and we know that whatever is going to happen is what should be and we will be okay.

Throughout the last four years our family has tried to stay positive. My dad has always told us that we weren't going to have a pity party, and I think we have done a pretty good job of not doing so. It doesn't mean it hasn't been hard and some days really hard, but it does mean that we have and still enjoy each day and will continue to find joy in the journey.

"Life is to be enjoyed, not just endured"