On Being Better

2014 was a wonderful year.  All I really wanted out of last year was to see our family grow, and it did exactly that with the addition of our sweet Ivy, a new brother-in-law and a new sister-in-law.  We enjoyed the close proximity to our families and spent lots of time with cousins at the beach in Bear Lake or the pine trees in Island Park.  Ryan enjoyed his job and the changes that came about there, and I spent the majority of my time growing a human.  Stella suddenly became a real kid (who am I kidding? She's basically a teenager), Eliza got real spunky and Ivy Jo brought us one step closer to being complete.  There's not much bad I can say about the last year, and I'm hoping 2015 will be just as kind (minus the whole growing a human thing.).

I am a list maker, a planner and all things Type A; but as of January 1, 2015 it felt almost impossible to think outside the next 24 hours of my life.  Life with three kids is crazy in the most wonderful way, and I'm trying to let myself take the necessary time to adjust without expecting too much of myself.  But I can't help but look at my life and know that I could be dong better in so many areas.  It's certainly a fine line between feeling like I can be doing better and feeling like should be doing better.  The world can easily blur that line with Instagram, Pinterest (let's be honest, I never look at Pinterest!) and the ease of comparison that is everywhere we turn.  So while I am certainly not perfect at it, I am desperately trying to focus on becoming the best me possible, without making myself into someone I am not.

So without further ado, here's what I will be working on in 2015:

Recommit to a Healthy Lifestyle

- Run my second half marathon

- Bring healthful foods into my home

Let's be honest: it's been a year of eating whatever I want and moving very little, all while using that (very legitimate) excuse of "I'm pregnant!" My energy was extremely low during pregnancy and I let convenience take over most of my life, especially my kitchen.  I know better (I know so much better!) so it's time to get motivated and practice what I preach.

Better My Relationship with My Savior

- Read the Book of Mormon

- Pray more

- Look for opportunities for service outside of my normal circle

Yes, some form of these goals make it on my list every. single. year. But I am determined to keep trying.  I feel such a need for divine guidance in my life and I know this is how I will find it.  These are the ways that I will find peace and strength among the chaos of the every day.

Make My Days More Purposeful

- Spend quality time with my children and husband

- Maintain a house of order

- Less screen time (personal and for the kids)

I don't think there will ever be a day where I don't feel like I am being pulled in twenty different directions.  Not only is there so much that has to be done and needs to be done, but I am still an imperfect and selfish human being who wants to forget all that other stuff and just do what I want to do.  

For so long I have felt the need and the pressure to "do it all" and more than ever I realize that not only is that impossible, but I don't want to have to try anymore.  My focus needs to be this little home I am creating, the little minds I am helping to mold and the ordinary moments that are going to create a fulfilling life.  Nothing else is going to fill me up the way that doing this will, and while I like to think I can work part time, have a clean home, cook healthy gourmet meals, and teach my kid to read all in the span of 24 hours, I can't do it joyfully and there is really no need to even try.

So here's to being just a little better in 2015. 

 Cheers!