Precious to Me

It's been an interesting few weeks to be a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.  For me it has been one of tender feelings and personal reflection as the world (and members of the church itself) have very publicly and strongly questioned some of the things that I hold precious, and more specifically, the role of women in our church. 

As the initial news stories hit the airways and the social media sites it appeared that I belong to a church of censorship.  That asking questions (often hard, very emotionally charged ones) was something that would not be tolerated.  I didn't like the initial taste these stories left in my mouth, and honestly I think that is exactly what the media was hoping for.  While I do not agree with many of the questions and issues being raised by some people in the church, I do feel that studying these things out in our minds and with our families, and even with our church leaders, is very important. The initial stories and headlines made it seem like these things were impossible to do in our church, especially for women.  I struggled for a few days trying to reconcile doctrine and words from men who I believe to be prophets who are called of God and who speak for Him, with the feelings of acceptance for those people who may be struggling with the church.  I want there to be room for both.  I feel that there can be and should be room for both.

It is hard for me to understand the women who feel that the church has made them less because they are women.  It is hard for me, because I have never felt those things for one millisecond of my twenty-eight short years in the church.  Instead this church and it's teachings have helped me better understand my role as a woman in this world.  It has allowed me to feel worth as mother and wife, encouraged friendship and fellowship, and most importantly helped me to develop a real relationship with my Heavenly Father and Savior, Jesus Christ- both of whom I know love me and care for me deeply.  I have found my worth through them, as a daughter of God.

I have also never felt anything but love from my Priesthood leaders, both at local and church-wide levels.  I have been a part of nearly ten different congregations in my life and have never felt anything, but respect and admiration for myself and the women in my midst.  I know this isn't true for everyone, but it is true for me and probably many others.  Not everyone feels oppressed by this church that appears to be run by men.  And that's probably because I don't see it as a church run by men, but as a church that is run by God.

So while I have never felt like a second-class citizen in the church, I have had to remind myself that the feelings of these women are very real and very personal to them.  Deep down I am sure they wish they didn't have these questions raging in their souls.  But they do, and that is okay.  I may not agree with their methods of voicing them or degree in which those feelings can affect their entire testimonies, but I don't understand exactly how they feel.  I have no doubt that the parts of the gospel that they do hold dear and true, their relationships with their families and many other factors make this issue so much more difficult than just saying they believe every part and staying, or saying they don't and leaving.

I've thought a lot this week about the phrase "endure to the end."  We hear it a lot in our church in regards to remaining faithful through all of the twists and turns life can take.  Sometimes it is worldly temptations such as pornography, alcohol or gambling that pull us off the path to eternal life.  Sometimes it is devastating trials and loss that cause us to lose faith in our Savior and a loving Heavenly Father.  And maybe sometimes it is the belief that things must change and they must change now.  That the ways the Lord has structured his church and the men who now run it through the power of the priesthood have it all wrong.  Maybe there are things that we all think could be different about the culture of the church, because it certainly is not perfect.  But in the end we have to trust that the gospel of Jesus Christ is perfect, and that because we have access to that through what some could say is a church run by imperfect people (as all who walk the earth are), we must endure through the difficult questions and cultural set-backs.  We must maintain our testimony of our Savior and have faith that if we remain good and faithful, all things will be made right in the end.  That is one of my favorite quotes and one that rings very true to the path my life has taken.  "All that is unfair about life can be made right  through the Atonement of Christ."  Whether those injustices are in the form of a spouse who cheats, a father who dies or questions that don't seem to have answers in this life; if we endure to the end we will receive our just reward.

So while we all enduring, because we all are, whatever that might mean; let's try to be a little more loving and understanding to each other.  That doesn't mean we have to agree with each other, but we can still respect one another.  A little love can go a really long way.