I don't have many words this year. Sometimes I feel like I've said all there is to say about goodbyes, grieving and missing someone with your whole soul. I'm not sure what I can add that will be profound enough or reflect the true feelings buried deep down in my heart.
All I can say is that this year, four years later, it feels like it has been so long. It feels like it has been forty years since we last talked or hugged or laughed. Not because I cry every night or let the ache consume me more often than not. In fact, I can honestly say that most days are easier than they are hard, and many moments I don't think about it at all. That last part makes me feel a little sad (and probably guilty). I want to think about him more.
No, it feels like it has been has so long, because one day was already longer than I ever hoped to be a member of this club. And most of the time, I just wish things were different than the reality we are living. Not because it's bad, but because it no longer includes his singing or his jokes or his words of advice.
We miss you dad, but we love you even more.
No comments:
Post a Comment