I am really feeling it lately. That pit in your stomach, cry-as-you-hang-up-little-girl-laundry reality that my babies are not babies any more. I am moving size 3T sweaters that are a little too tight for Stella over to Eliza's side of the closet, because they suddenly fit her just right. Basically my kids are sharing clothes and I don't know how that happened. It's so bittersweet, this watching your children become less dependent on you. You want it to happen for so many reasons, but your heart breaks a little bit more each time they don't need your help putting on shoes (unfortunately I am talking about Eliza here, not Stella) or don't need you to cut their food into bite sized, non-chokable pieces. A year ago I was needed for everything. Every trip to the potty, every shirt that needed pulled over a head. I know they still need me. I know they still love me. But no matter how hard I try I can't keep stuffing Eliza into size 24 month onesies any longer, and for some reason that fact is throwing me into hysterics.
I am certain part of the issue is the aching for a new babe to fill my arms. A new babe that will literally need me to help fulfill it's every physical and emotional need. I am hopeful those days will come again. Those very difficult days where I will be exhausted to my core and wish for someone to not need me quite so much. I know it's a never ending ebb and flow, this parenthood thing. But really, give me another baby and I will be ready to officially freeze time so my children can't grow another day farther away from needing me.
2 comments:
Noah now climbs out of his crib himself in the morning when his light turns green and he knows it's okay to get up. It's nice that I don't have to stumble out of bed, groggy and moaning, anymore to get him up--but I realized the other day that I might never again get to walk into his room first thing in the morning and see him waiting for me with a grin and his arms open to be held. That realization made me sad.
Luckily, he now just comes into our room and climbs in bed with us--which is its own kind of sweet. Great moments are replaced by other great moments.
I hope you get pregnant very soon! Praying for you!
Also this post reminded me of another one. It might make you cry. (Sorry.) http://powerofmoms.com/2012/12/the-last-time/
Oh sweet girl! I hope you get your little one soon. I was just looking at my little Max and realizing he's coming out of the newborn stage. It is so bittersweet.
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