Just Can't Wait

Remember that stuff I said about November 14th?

You can go ahead and forget most of it.

Remember that stuff I said about how there was pretty much no way Little Sis was making her big debut any sooner than she was scheduled?

You can forget about that too.

Remember how I was 100% positive that she wasn't going to move from her breech position?

Well, at least I was right about one thing.

Yes, it is true.

If you haven't heard the good news, Little Sis is here!

Our sweet little girl, Eliza Scott Palmer, surprised us all by arriving 3 weeks prior to her due date and just over 2 weeks prior to her scheduled c-section.

Weighing in at a whopping 5 pounds 9 ounces and measuring 19.5 inches long, she entered the world via c-section at 10:32pm on Thursday, October 27, 2011,

We were (and still are) in disbelief about the fact that she was ready to join our family so soon.

But now that she is here I can't imagine still being home, sitting on my couch feeling uncomfortable while anxiously waiting her arrival.

So how did it all go down you ask?

I still haven't figured that out either, but for being such a surprise the timing worked out quite well for everyone involved.

And in all honesty, for about a month now I have had strong feelings (aka: promptings) that she might be coming when we least expected her to.

I think I finally spoke my fears out loud a week or two ago, but I quickly added my disclaimer that there really was no way she would and that I was being overly paranoid due to Ryan's impending absence for school.

And while I was doing my best to not let myself believe she would come early, I was on a mission to get as much ready to welcome her into our home as possible before Ryan left for his rotation.

As most of you know Ryan left Sunday night to work at a community dental clinic in Toledo, Ohio.

He was scheduled to come home Thursday evening and then return tomorrow and repeat this experience.

When we found out we were expecting around this time Ryan went right into the school and asked to not be scheduled for Ohio Project around the time I was due.

They obliged by not scheduling him the week of or prior to my due date, but I guess they felt that weeks two and three before Eliza was set to come would be fine.

And for the most part I agreed.

We even signed Ryan up to take boards the first weekend of November (which he is still is going to do, by the way).

But as the weeks progressed and we moved closer to the time I knew he would be leaving me I began to worry.  And I began to get emotional.  And I began to be one of those crazy 9 months pregnant women who don't want to let their husband's out of their sight and who have a hard time dealing with their sass-a-frass toddlers. 

Wait, am I the only one who is like that at 9 months pregnant?  Don't answer that.

When Ryan left on Sunday I could not contain my emotions.

I knew I would be fine and that I could handle things on my own, but I just was having a hard time with it.

Thankfully we had some good friends visiting for the weekend and between them and my other great friends here in Ohio we easily survived the first week without dad.

Thursday morning I woke up with a few errands to run and a goal of welcoming my hubby home with a genuine smile, clean house, and yummy home cooked meal (because we all know I hadn't cooked a thing while he was gone).

Considering that Stella decided to wake up randomly at 1:30 am and chill with me for two hours gave our morning errands a late start, but around 11 we set off to find the finishing touches for a baby gift, pick up some blankets I had been wanting to get Little Sis, and finally hit the grocery store for a flu shot for mom (I had to get it at least 2 weeks before the baby was due for her to get some benefits) and some much needed groceries.

About two months ago Stella suddenly decided she hated shopping, especially shopping carts.

She cries as soon as we pull up to The Giant Eagle grocery store because she knows what's coming.

You can judge me all you want but I load the diaper up with fruit snacks before our trips because I know that is all that will get us through.

Needless to say by the time we got to the grocery store I was a little stressed by the princess.

She whined as we walked in the door and as I did my best to restrain her in the cart and I was bracing myself for a miserable time.

I headed to the pharmacy to check on the wait for a flu shot and when I heard 15 precious minutes of my shopping trip would have to be spent just waiting to get stuck by a needle I decided to pass with the plan to return that evening after Ryan got home.

Surprisingly Stella ended up being rather cheerful during the rest of the trip and I was happily cruising through my grocery list when I suddenly wasn't sure if I was going to be able to physically finish shopping.

My back started hurting and I was just feeling tired and yucky.

I chalked it up to my full cart of groceries and hurried to finish my trip.

I arrived home around 1:30, fed Stella lunch and put her down for a nap, and then started working on my to-do list that included packing my hospital bag and an overnight bag for Stella "just in case".

I started noticing that the back pain was coming and going in spurts and always hurting in the same location: just above my tailbone and radiating around my sides.

It was about 2:00pm by this time and I decided I would take a little break for a minute, check my Facebook where I happily updated my status to: husband coming home today!!!, and chatted with my dear friend on the phone.

I figured the rest would help the pains in my back subside, but throughout the conversation with Breanne I would continue to have them and would even need to move positions to make myself more comfortable when one started.

I think I mentioned them to her, but we both chalked it up to common pregnancy pains experienced by most women who are only a few weeks from having their babies.

After an hour or so I decided to start working on putting the rest of the groceries away and the other items on my list of to-dos.

However, the darn back pains were still hanging around and they seemed to be getting more frequent as well as more painful.

But I had to be imagining that, right?  Because those were signs of contractions and contractions could mean labor and as the doctor had so lovingly put it the week before my "cervix was up to my tonsils!".  I wasn't having a baby anytime soon. 

November 14th, remember?

Around 4pm Ryan called and said he was on his way home!  Happy day!

I mentioned the pains I was having and I am sure he responded by telling me I better not be having a baby anytime soon.  I agreed I wouldn't, but as I am sure you have guessed by now the pains were still coming.

I decided to call my mom around 4:30 to describe to her what was going on.  She had back labor with all of us so I wondered if that was possibly what was happening.  I figured it was "false back labor" if anything, but the fact that they were now occurring every 10 minutes and requiring me to brace myself on the bed or couch or, the thing that helped the most, get on all fours and breath through them, made me start to feel slightly worried.

I described what I was feeling and she responded with nervous laughter and that she thought what I was experiencing sounded a lot like back labor.

She asked if I had started timing them?

I told her not officially.  I didn't need to, I wasn't in labor so what would it matter?

She asked if Ryan would be home soon?

I told her he would.

She told me to go rest until he got there and see if that helped them go away.

I told her I had too much still to do until he got home.  Plus I already knew that sitting or lying down didn't help them go away.

She told me to keep her updated and I agreed to do just that.

Stella woke up from her nap soon after and I tried to do a few more things around the house.

At this point I was realizing dinner probably wasn't going to be cooked by me that night.

I started having to really brace myself or get down on the ground for every contraction at this point.

Stella was excited about our new game and would either come bend down and breathe with me, or climb on my back in an attempt to ride me like a horse.

While I didn't enjoy the horse thing so much, it was so sweet to see her concern for what I was going through.

6pm rolled around and I knew I needed to start timing these things.

6:00, 6:07, 6:12, 6:18, 6:25...You get the idea.

They were lasting 30-45 seconds each time.

This was sounding more and more like labor to me.

But it couldn't be!

I called Ryan around 6:30 and asked when he thought he would be home.  He told me soon and I told him hurry.  I was hurting.

After he got home we discussed what was happening and what we should do between contractions.

He called his mom who is a nurse and she suggested we call the doctor's office, especially because Eliza was still breech.

Ryan agreed but I didn't want to.  There was no way this was the real thing and I was just going to feel stupid when they told me it was nothing and even worse when they made me head to the hospital were the would inevitably send me right back home.

I finally agreed to call around 7:30 and decided to start packing those hospital bags too.

I was a little scattered as I was pulling PJ's and baby clothes from the girl's room and trying to remember what in the world I used or needed the last time I was in the hospital for a baby.

After explaining the situation to my doctor he informed me to head to the hospital to get checked.

The tears really started to come then.

I wasn't ready for this.  We weren't ready to have this baby!

My mom wasn't coming for three more weeks, my husband still had a week left in Toledo plus Boards to take, I hadn't finished every last thing on my to-do list!

Plus I was still sure that this couldn't be real and that I was just going to feel like a fool when I returned home empty handed at midnight.

Ryan called and made arrangements for Stella, gave me a quick but reassuring Priesthood blessing, and we were off.

Let's just say having contractions in the car was even less fun then having them at home.

I was practically crawling over the seat with each one.  I am sure the people sitting next to us at the stop lights were seriously wondering what the heck I was doing.

Of course I cried when we dropped Stella off.

This wasn't how I imagined our last night as a little family of three going.  We were supposed to do something memorable and take a picture or something.  Not to mention this would be the first night I had spent away from her since her birth.

But of course she was fine and in great hands.  I don't think she even missed us!

We checked into Labor and Delivery at 8:45pm.

At this point all I could think was either a) I better be having this baby so that these contractions will stop or b) they better have some way to make them stop, because I could not deal with them for even an hour or two more, let alone two weeks.

At 9:30 the resident came in and confirmed Eliza was still in the breech position and to check me for dilation.

Yes, she was breech.

Yes, I was dilated- to a four.

I was having a c-section that night, probably within the hour.

What followed was blur of phone calls to family, contractions, and what felt like an hour long interview with the anesthesiologist about how many heart attacks or cataracts I have had.

Finally I was in the OR and being prepped to meet our little girl.

One of the doctors told me that Ryan had to run to the car to get the cameras (we didn't bring our bags in, because we weren't convinced we were staying) and so I started worrying that he wouldn't make it back in time.

It didn't help that sister's heart rate was suddenly jumping all over the place so they kept telling me that they were going to have to move fast. 

Suddenly I was laying back, the blue sheet was raised, and it was time.

In walked Ryan, camera in hand and with the news that my mom would be arriving the next day on a three pm flight.  It was the perfect sight and the perfect thing to hear him say.

We looked at each other and pretty much just started laughing, both of us shaking our heads in disbelief at what was happening in that moment.

Two or three minutes later daddy was standing up, peering over the sheet and watching the doctors welcome our little Eliza Scott into the world.

Thankfully everything checked out wonderful and except for being a little peanut our little surprise was (is) just perfect.  No need for anytime on oxygen or in the NICU for her!

Ryan was able to bring her over to the operating table where I continued to lay as the doctors finished cleaning me up.

I couldn't hold her, but it was so fun to look at the sweet little girl who had been my little companion  for the past 9 months. 

Nothing can really describe what it feels like to know that they are here and that they are healthy.

She was soon whisked away to the nursery and I headed to recovery.

Last time I was able to take Stella into the recovery room with me, but that was after weeks of discussion with my doctor and her help in making it happen in the end.

This time everything just happened so quickly and unexpectedly that we weren't able to do the same.

Instead we were apart for nearly 4 hours!  That is far too long to have to wait and hold your new baby if you ask me.

But when we were finally reunited it was just as sweet as if it had been only 4 minutes after.

We tried eating and we just snuggled our new little bundle well into the early morning hours.



I decided to recreate some of my favorite pictures that we took of Stella just after she was born with Eliza.  Of course we still had the same boppy and I happened to throw in the same headband so it was obvious that it needed to happen.

Eliza is in the top picture and Stella is the one below.

While Stella was a small 6 pounds 4 ounces, it is amazing to me how much smaller Eliza seems.  I do think they look quite a bit alike though.



So far Stella has done great with the transition.

Of course the fact that she gets to hang out with her Nana J all day long makes everything right in her world no matter what else might be going on, but she has enjoyed loving her little sister and giving her kisses.  Plus she enjoys running around the hospital room and getting to eat Wendy's chicken nuggets when she comes so the full reality of the situation hasn't really hit yet.

I am sure difficult moments lie ahead, but so far their interactions have just melted my heart and made my love for each of them grow.

And we are so glad my mom could make it out!  She simply bought a whole new ticket because she knew we would need her help.  She isn't sure what will happen during the two weeks she had already planned to come out, but she will be back for some of it for sure.

She is the best lady I know and her mere presence helps to diminish so much stress from my life.

Ryan is still going to go to Toledo and take boards next week, but with my mom here to help I know we will be fine!



Eliza has the longest witchie poo fingers and little birdie feet!

As I have thought about and discussed with others the way Eliza came into the world I can't help but feel like that although it was crazy and unexpected, it was how it needed to be for not only our entire family but for me specifically. 

I think Heavenly Father knew the true desires of my heart when it came to the births of my children.  I wanted to know what labor was like.  I wanted to have a baby like the majority of women do and the way that you think it will happen for most of your life.  And while I know that just being able to be pregnant and be a mother are what truly matter, those things matter too and they really mattered to me.

While I will probably never end up having a baby vaginally I can now say I have experienced labor.  I can now say I have had to rush to the hospital and hope that I was making progress, both things that I worried I might never experience.

And while labor wasn't exactly fun and I seriously question if I could ever do it with out pain medication like I considered trying, I am so grateful that I was allowed to experience what I did on Thursday.



My joy is so full right now.

I love my little girls and my sweet husband.

We have all joked that Eliza must have a spunky personality and Papa Scott decided it was our turn to deal with her so he sent her a little early.

I am not sure I am hoping for the spunk, but I do hope that the two of them will share more than just a name.  I hope that they formed a special bond in their time together before she came to join us on this earth.  I don't know how that all works, but I feel sure that he was and will be a part of her life.  He just has to be.

Welcome to the world Little Sis!  We are so happy you decided to join our little family.  We love you!