The Family

This past September marked the 15th anniversary of the Church's announcement and publication of The Family: A Proclamation To The World.  Not only was this month's Visiting Teaching message (a spiritual thought that prompts discussion among women) focused on the family, and specifically the role of a mother in nurturing children, but I also follow a blog that focused on The Proclamation for the entire month by featuring guest bloggers who shared their testimonies of the inspired words.

Reading and studying the words of The Proclamation itself, as well as the inspired writings of other Sisters around the United States has brought me a great deal of comfort and strength.

As a mother and wife who stays home each day to look after my child and tend to the needs of our household, I often find myself questioning the true worth of my work.  I have been feeling particularly anxious about the pros and cons of staying home with Stella versus working outside the home while Ryan attends school.  This isn't necessarily a new stress for me, but for some reason it has been weighing heavily on my mind recently.

The truth is that as a "dental school family" we are literally surviving off student loans and the occasional opportunity to make a few extra dollars.  We are not alone in this lifestyle and I know there have been hundreds who have gone before us who lived the exact same way and are now doing great.  Somehow that doesn't alleviate the huge stress I feel when I think of living in debt, without either of us generating some sort of regular income.  Is it in the best interest of my small family to stay home, or to hang up my apron and head back to the WIC office?



While this month's Ensign or The Family Proclamation doesn't simply state in black and white what my decision should be (unfortunately), it is times of stress and confusion like this when I am most grateful for the guidance of Church leaders.

I know that although the pay may be substantially lower than that of a full-time, 9-5 job; being a mother and a wife is God's work.  And he will bless me and my family as I embrace those callings with my entire being.  He will make up for the emotionally draining days.  He will provide ways for us to spend special moments as a family.  He will make the heavy burdens I often feel become light.



Being a parent means I have a great responsibility:

Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, to teach them to love and serve one another, to observe the commandments of God and to be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.

Talk about scary!  Talk about pressure!  Thankfully I don't have to do it alone.  I have a wonderful and supportive husband, and a very loving and aware Father in Heaven who has blessed me with the parameters by which successful families are built:

Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities.

I know that the opportunity I have to stay home and be with Stella is a huge blessing.  I know that our choice for me to do so may be very confusing to some people looking in from the outside; it often is to me.

But I pray constantly that the Lord will bless me with the peace and reassurance I need to help me trust that this small apartment in Ohio is where I should be spending my days.

So far that is the confirmation I continue to receive.

I am so lucky to be a mother.  I am so thankful to be a wife.

Some days are hard for me.  Really hard.  I look outside and wonder what grand things I could be doing "out there" if I weren't changing diapers, loading the dishwasher, and singing songs "in here".  Some days I can't thing about it too long or I will go crazy.  Other days I think about it and nothing is more appealing than singing the ABC's one more time.



No matter what I just hope I am doing my best each and every day.  And since I know my best isn't the best, I hope He will make up the rest.

All photos by the beautiful and talented Allyson