Under Control

Just recently I started reading the Nie Nie blog. For those of you who don't know what it is or the story behind it, I recommend you check it out. For those of you who do know I can't imagine you not sharing my sentiment that this woman and her family are amazingly inspiring and courageous. Her blog allows a very real glimpse into her private life, both past and present, and her story has instilled in me a desire to be better. To be a better writer, sister, daughter, wife, mother, neighbor, Latter-Day Saint, member of humanity.

One of her posts describes a conversation that took place between her and her father. Nie Nie's story is anything but void of tragedy and trial, and as she discussed the circumstances of her life with her obviously wise and loving father he simply told her, "Everything is under control." Since I read that post and Nie Nie's thoughts on the words her father shared with her I have thought a lot about what that means.

The old adage is used often- in times of calm and in times of stress- to reassure self and those familiar with a situation that it is all going to be okay. But as I have thought about the words a little more I realize how true it is, everything is always and forever under control. My life, your life, and the lives of every person on this earth is blessed to be under the watchful and all knowing eyes of our Heavenly Father. I know without a shadow of a doubt that he knows me by name and is completely aware of every desire of my heart whether I make those known to him through prayer, through discussions with my husband, family, or friends, or simply through the private thoughts and conversations that take place deep within my soul.

Over the past few days I have thought about how when everything in life seems wonderful and we have somehow managed to sidestep those ever looming potholes and snares for the time being it is so easy to feel blessed and watched over. When the Lord understands the desire of a young couple to start a family, and soon after they learn they are going to be parents. When school finally ends and although there seem to be little possibilities for employment the job appears and works out perfect for one's personal situation. When those we love are triumphing in education, sports, and all endeavours that they wish to succeed in. These are times when the simple truth that all is under control is easy to accept and comprehend.

But then life happens. And everything starts to feel like it is spinning way beyond anyone's control and helplessness is a feeling that constantly weighs on the heart. And suddenly it is easy to forget the knowledge that our Heavenly Father is aware of us and that although much of life's events are beyond our control, someone else is in control. This morning my dad is having surgery to remove his spleen because it is now causing more harm then good. The cancer that has ravaged his body (but miraculously not his spirit) for the last three years is still waging war and it seems the spleen is it's latest causality. Treatments that have previously been successful are no longer fully fighting this physical enemy and soon my dad will start a new regimen of drugs that will likely bring new challenges to our family. This is a time when so many of us feel helpless and things seem a little out of control. But how blessed we are to know and understand that everything is under control and that our Heavenly Father has a blessed plan that we are each entitled to if we choose to use our agency in the proper manner.



My parent's wonderful Bishop was able to provide my dad with a powerful blessing of healing and courage that Ryan and I were able to participate in via Skype (technology...another tender mercy from our Lord). Over the last three years my dad and our family have been the recipients of countless promises of health and comfort through blessings, and the words so eloquently described last night helped to again remind me that although so many of us feel helpless and scared at times our Father in Heaven loves us, knows us, and will provide a path (not devoid of trial, of course) that will allow for personal growth on emotional, physical, and spiritual levels we could not reach any other way.



So today, more then ever, I am thankful that I am not the one making the big decisions. That someone else, someone with a great eternal perspective, is in control.